The Chocolate Scale

Ahoy!

Before we start art-snarking--snarting, if you will--I'm going to give you all a brief rundown of how this blog rates things. Now, normal blogs might use things like stars, but everybody knows you can't eat stars and things you can eat are better than things you can't eat. Chocolate, as we all know, is tasty and easily consumed. This, of course, means chocolate is inherently the superior method by which to rate contemporary art. Without further ado, I present to you the Chocolate Scale of Ratings.

Carob

"You are not chocolate and I reject you."

Baking Chocolate

"Looks like chocolate. Tastes like spleens."

Palmer Easter Bunny

"Hollow, flavorless, and utterly disappointing."

A Handful of Chocolate Chips

"Better than nothing--shameful if there's literally anything else."

White Chocolate

"Meh."

Novelty M&Ms

"Tasty and fun!"

A King-Sized Bar on Halloween

"Expecting good? Get awesome instead!"

The REALLY Good Piece in the Valentine's Box

"Awwww yissss!"

S'mores

"Requires some effort to get, but extremely satisfying once you do."

Toblerone 

"Practically perfect in every way."

I think this rating scale speaks for itself, really. I don't know why the whole world doesn't use it already.
Chop-chop, World.

-mela